Ronald Potter Efron
Reclaim Your Relationship – How 3 Simple Words Can Change Everything!
A Workbook of Exercises and Techniques to Help You Reconnect with Your Partner
I heard an interview on the radio a few days ago with Ronald T. Potter-Efron, author of “Reclaim Your Relationship.”
And with Valentine’s Day just around the corner…
I thought it appropriate subject to share my notes on the interview and book.
Below are some key notes:
- Any real relationship goes through periods of rocky down time and makes you wonder why you are with the person in the first place. But hang in there because things turn around – and you can become closer than ever before.
- There are simply times and stages in relationships when you’ll find yourself looking at your partner asking “what is wrong with them?”
- Learn to say “I Love You” even when you are unhappy or frustrated with your partner.
- It is not just about the words. “I Love You” should also be said with actions backing it up. It should come from the heart.
- Saying these 3 words is not always so easy for some people.
- Does it matter if your parents said it in your home growing up? Yes. It is easier for those that heard it and saw it in action growing up.
- “I Love You” needs to be followed by unselfish actions.
- Never follow “I Love You” with critical, fault finding about your partner.
- Self-centeredness puts a wall up in relationships by keeping things about “me, me, me” instead of about “us.”
- The cost of loving someone is the pain and heartache of losing them some day.
- Challenge the old, cold thoughts that keep you from saying “I Love You.” Sometimes it is from being hurt in past relationships.
- Love is demonstrated by loving behavior. A couple’s diary/journal can be a way to keep an ongoing communication for love and dealing with conflict.
Chapter 25 – Give Your Partner the Gift He or She Really Wants
It is worth the effort to learn your partners likes and dislikes. This shows your love by taking the time to discover their needs and not giving gifts based on what you think they want. Sometimes a hug is a better and more desired gift than an expensive present.
Chapter 33 – The 5 Steps that Let You Take in Love
Many people have a hard time taking in love and receiving it. They are able to give, but not receive. This can be caused by many reasons such as: not believing you’re loveable, trying to be humble by not receiving, or simply not knowing how to receive love.
These 5 steps were recommended to help you take in love:
1. Let yourself know the steps to receive love first.
2. Prepare to receive love and let yourself know it is good to receive.
3. When you are told “I Love You”, take a deep breath – stop – and repeat what they said.
4. Acknowledge the statement and feeling of being loved.
5. Accept that you are loved and loveable!
From the BACK COVER of “Reclaim Your Relationship” by Ronald & Patricia Potter-Efron (also the authors of “Letting Go of Anger”) :
Say—and mean—the three little words that will save your relationship
“I love you” is probably the most important sentence in the English language: it can enrich your marriage on a good day and heal the worst wounds in bad times. But for many couples, saying and meaning it has fallen not only out of their vocabulary but also out of their marriage. Now, Ron and Pat Potter-Efron, marriage therapists who have been happily married for thirty-seven years, combine their real-life and clinical experience to help you improve your relationship.
“Reclaim Your Relationship” presents forty-six engaging, hands-on exercises to help you say “I love you” with ease and confidence while reaping the benefits of loving and being loved. Addressing the three types of people who have difficulty expressing their love—people who can’t get the words out, people who can’t show their love, and people who can’t receive love—this interactive workbook shows you how to:
- Practice saying, showing, and accepting love
- Re-energize your relationship with your partner
- Address the special needs of the person in your life
- Love and express love even if you lacked demonstrative affection as a child
- Overcome the hurt of a bad relationship and reclaim your faith in real love
- Save a relationship that has drifted
Add depth, richness, wonder, and beauty to the most important relationship in your life with the help of “Reclaim Your Relationship.”
May you continue to have growing prosperity in your marriages!
P.S. If you’ve had a chance to read “Reclaim Your Relationship” (available on amazon), please feel free to share your comments – thanks!