marriage resource

February 12, 2010 Marriage No Comments

Reclaim Your Relationship – How 3 Simple Words Can Change Everything!

A Workbook of Exercises and Techniques to Help You Reconnect with Your Partner

The three simple words “I Love You” can change everything!

I heard an interview on the radio a few days ago with Ronald T. Potter-Efron, author of “Reclaim Your Relationship.”

And with Valentine’s Day just around the corner…

I thought it appropriate subject to share my notes on the interview and book.

Below are some key notes:

Any real relationship goes through periods of rocky down time and makes you wonder why you are with the person in the first place. But hang in there because things turn around – and you can become closer than ever before.
There are simply times and stages in relationships when you’ll find yourself looking at your partner asking “what is wrong with them?”
Learn to say “I Love You” even when you are unhappy or frustrated with your partner.
It is not just about the words. “I Love You” should also be said with actions backing it up. It should come from the heart.
Saying these 3 words is not always so easy for some people.
Does it matter if your parents said it in your home growing up? Yes. It is easier for those that heard it and saw it in action growing up.
“I Love You” needs to be followed by unselfish actions.
Never follow “I Love You” with critical, fault finding about your partner.
Self-centeredness puts a wall up in relationships by keeping things about “me, me, me” instead of about “us.”
The cost of loving someone is the pain and heartache of losing them some day.
Challenge the old, cold thoughts that keep you from saying “I Love You.” Sometimes it is from being hurt in past relationships.
Love is demonstrated by loving behavior. A couple’s diary/journal can be a way to keep an ongoing communication for love and dealing with conflict.

Chapter 25 – Give Your Partner the Gift He or She Really Wants

It is worth the effort to learn your partners likes and dislikes. This shows your love by taking the time to discover their needs and not giving gifts based on what you think they want. Sometimes a hug is a better and more desired gift than an expensive present.

Chapter 33 – The 5 Steps that Let You Take in Love

Many people have a hard time taking in love and receiving it. They are able to give, but not receive. This can be caused by many reasons such as: not believing you’re loveable, trying to be humble by not receiving, or simply not knowing how to receive love.

These 5 steps were recommended to help you take in love:

1. Let yourself know the steps to receive love first.
2. Prepare to receive love and let yourself know it is good to receive.
3. When you are told “I Love You”, take a deep breath – stop – and repeat what they said.
4. Acknowledge the statement and feeling of being loved.
5. Accept that you are loved and loveable!

***

From the BACK COVER of “Reclaim Your Relationship” by Ronald & Patricia Potter-Efron (also the authors of “Letting Go of Anger”) :

Say—and mean—the three little words that will save your relationship

“I love you” is probably the most important sentence in the English language: it can enrich your marriage on a good day and heal the worst wounds in bad times. But for many couples, saying and meaning it has fallen not only out of their vocabulary but also out of their marriage. Now, Ron and Pat Potter-Efron, marriage therapists who have been happily married for thirty-seven years, combine their real-life and clinical experience to help you improve your relationship.

“Reclaim Your Relationship” presents forty-six engaging, hands-on exercises to help you say “I love you” with ease and confidence while reaping the benefits of loving and being loved. Addressing the three types of people who have difficulty expressing their love—people who can’t get the words out, people who can’t show their love, and people who can’t receive love—this interactive workbook shows you how to:

Practice saying, showing, and accepting love
Re-energize your relationship with your partner
Address the special needs of the person in your life
Love and express love even if you lacked demonstrative affection as a child
Overcome the hurt of a bad relationship and reclaim your faith in real love
Save a relationship that has drifted

Add depth, richness, wonder, and beauty to the most important relationship in your life with the help of “Reclaim Your Relationship.”

***

May you continue to have growing prosperity in your marriages!

Soar higher,
Brenda

P.S. If you’ve had a chance to read “Reclaim Your Relationship” (available on amazon), please feel free to share your comments – thanks!

February 10, 2010 Marriage No Comments

While I’m Waiting by John Waller – Fireproof Movie Music Video

Wait on the Lord, even when times are painful. While you’re waiting, takes steps of obedience and continue to serve and worship the Lord.

Wait on the Lord and move ahead with boldness and confidence.

Marriage is not always easy and it takes a lot of work from both partners… And a successful marriage requires keeping God in the center of it!

God’s love has been shed abroad in my heart (Romans 5:5) therefore…

I endure long, and I’m patient and kind; I’m never envious nor do I boil over with jealousy. I’m not boastful or vainglorious, and I do not display myself haughtily.
I’m not conceited, arrogant or inflated with pride. I’m not rude or unmannerly, and I don’t act unbecomingly. I don’t insist on my own rights or my own way; I’m not self-seeking. I’m not touchy, fretful or resentful. I take no account of the evil done to me; I pay no attention to a suffered wrong.
I don’t rejoice at injustice or unrighteousness, but I rejoice when right and truth prevail.
I bear up under anything and everything that comes along. I’m ever ready to believe the best of every person. My hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and I endure everything without weakening.
My love never fails or fades out. My love never becomes obsolete. My love never come to an end.

— 1 Corinthians 13 4-8

May God strengthen and prosper your marriage like never before!

God bless you,
Brenda

P.S. “Fireproof” Movie and “While I’m Waiting” Song by John Waller on amazon

November 2, 2009 Marriage No Comments

Sara Groves – “It’s Me” – Music Video

Sara Groves – “It’s Me” – New Music Video

Yes, Marriage Takes Work – But It Is Worth It!

Sara Groves’ new release “It’s Me” and commented about it on Tangle:

“Sometimes when Troy, my husband, and I are in the midst of a disagreement, one of us will say something that’s really sarcastic or just so overt. And being on the receiving end of that, it’s is like, “Honey, it’s me … Sara.” Or vice versa. We just forget who we’re talking to and the value of that person. For whatever reason, you cross that line where sensitivity and tenderness are discarded. You’d never talk to anyone else like that or treat someone else like that. Troy and I are working on that…” — Sara Groves

Healthy and satisfying marriages are what God intends and they are possible –
but they do take ongoing work along the way from each partner and –
require God’s help.

As someone who has been married and unfortunately divorced, I’ve been able to see marriage from different perspectives. Now as a single person, looking forward to marriage again, I realize the importance of each person not only going into the marriage committed – but staying committed.

A great marriage resource book I’ve been reading is “Love & Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. It has a simple but really powerful message about the ‘LOVE She Most Desires’ and the ‘RESPECT He Desperately Needs’.

The message in the book is also followed up with specific things each partner can do and say. Actually, this message of Love & Respect goes beyond marriage relationships, but is guaranteed to help your marriage. I highly recommend it!

Taking the time to personally develop some new skills goes a long way in living a more satisfying life!

God bless you – and may He strengthen all marriages, and heal all those that have been hurt from divorce –